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| You thought the Apparatus of Kwalish was a bit odd? Naive fool. |
Let us see what is available for your adventurers to plunder this week...
GNOME OF NAVIGATIONAL KNOWLEDGE
This plaster gnome knows the way…Twice per day, you may ask this gnome a navigational question, and it will point the way for you.
HIGHLY IMPRACTICAL LEATHER CORSET OF MARTIAL ARTS
Exactly what it says on the tin.+2 to all martial arts checks, only wearable by females, wearer always counts as -1CP for wounds, but can roll the full number of dice in checks.
(I've always found it bizare that, according to RPGs and the popular media, women are fully capable of complete mastery of the martial arts while wearing six-inch stilettos and the skimpiest possible costume. This is my answer to how it's done.
An explanation of the rules for non-DiceChucker players: You get a bonus on martial arts attacks, but always count as having taken one wound. In D&D terms, it would limit your maximum HP to about 1/5 less than normal)
An explanation of the rules for non-DiceChucker players: You get a bonus on martial arts attacks, but always count as having taken one wound. In D&D terms, it would limit your maximum HP to about 1/5 less than normal)
IMPRESSED CAT
This wonderous feline always looks terribly impressed by anything you say or do.So long as the cat is around, you gain a +2 bonus on any attempts to impress, convince or negotiate. The cat just looks SO impressed by all your suggestions.
(My cat was giving me more than usually pitying looks when I came up with this one, making me think about how wondrous an item a cat who actually looked impressed would be...)
TROMBONE OF INVISIBILTY
A mighty brass instrument with strange powers.
While the Trombone is being played, both it, and the player are invisible.
SCROLL OF MAKE COELIAC
Wheat is for chumps.Contains a bound spell, which can be used once to turn it’s target into a Coeliac (a person who is allergic to wheat)
DUCK GUN
A blackened metal tube with a wooden grip at one end, and loud honking coming from within.When fired, the Duck Gun shoots a duck at hypersonic speed towards it’s target. This is always fatal to the duck.
DL: 5, RNG: 10/15/20
(DL: 5 is a fairly hefty damage level. It's more than a crossbow, getting into the realms of +1 weapons.)
BOOK OF FACES
A strange tome, seemingly made from the flayed faces of people…Each of the 100 pages of this book is a face. They can be removed and worn as masks, granting a +4 bonus to anything which would benefit from a mask.
WAND OF SHEEP
Apparently, this was a wand of sleep which got somewhat mis spelled…Magic wand; TN:12 magic test to use. Target is either turned into a sheep for D3 hours, or put to sleep for D3 hours.
LIME LIGHT
Because wizards love bad puns.This is a lime. You know, the fruit. When you poke it hard, it casts a powerful, greenish light for one hour. It is otherwise completely the same as any other lime.
GAUNTLET OF INVERSION
A mighty glove made from iron, studded with runes.The Gauntlet must be worn at all times to function. It grants a +1 bonus to AL. Once per day, the wearer can point at something, and it will be immediately flipped upside down.
(Just imagine getting this one off during a boss battle... suddenyl Nagrath Z'zokk the Undead Lich of Unspeakable Evil is standing on his head... or even better, getting it off during a SEA battle - suddenly the Prince Arethustra is upside down, sending all her crew to a watery grave...)
ANIMATED TOWER SHIELD
This mighty shield comes complete with little legs…AL: 2. Grants soft cover (-3 to hit with ranged attacks)
The Animated Tower Shield does not need to be carried. It will always move with it’s owner and position itself so as to give the best protection.
THE TINY RUNNING SHORTS OF SHEN TEE LAI
Cheating at fantasy athletic events is nothing new. Shen Tee Lai just did it in disturbingly small shorts…+1 movement.
-4 penalty to persuasion, diplomacy etc. against members of the same gender. +4 bonus against members of the opposite gender.
(This is an in joke against one of my friends, well known for his habit of attending Warhammer Tournaments in the shortest of shorts as a way of distracting his opponents.)
What strange and arcane items await in the next installment? Only time will tell, dear readers, only time will tell!
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